Uninvolved parenting- provides neither warmth nor control. Indifferent uninvolved parents provide for their children's basic physical and emotional needs but little else. They try to minimize the time they spend with their children and avoid becoming emotionally involved with them.
Just writing that definition brings back hurtful childhood memories and why I take a complete different approach on parenting. I could never imagine not bonding with my daughter or avoiding it. Growing up I had no one to support me, no hugs, no I love you, no good job. It was a lonely miserable feeling.
It states in the book that children that come from uninvolved parenting tend to do poorly in school and are aggressive. This was me to a T. I was very smart but my mother didn't care so I eventually dropped out of school in the 11th grade. I didn;t get into fights but had a bad mouth and was the "class clown" always popping off to teachers to somehow get attention. I finally moved out and have been on my own since I was 16 and turned my life around.
Using the authoritative parenting it states is the best and I agree. She is so open to always having disscussions. we talk about everything. She is well liked by her teachers and does well in school. I also am super involved with everything she does.
It makes me so sad to read things like you went through. Thank you for sharing your opinion on the parenting styles and how you made it a point to do the opposite as a parent with your daughter. I think that's amazing! I was not very excited to read that we had to create a blog for this class at first, but after the first couple of weeks I actually found it to be therapeutic just typing about personal experiences and getting it out there where there is a response or not.
ReplyDeleteI was raised in both “authoritarian” (my grandmother: Do as I say no matter what) and “uninvolved” (my birth mother: do whatever dude) and both were very toxic. It’s enlightening and makes me hopeful to hear another person experience living through our childhoods and becoming parents. My aunt always tells me that I will be good mom, but I have so much fear around it. Fear that I will do to my kids what my parents did to me. You’re a great example that we CAN, and are able to give our children that balance of authority and tenderness that we lacked.
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